Loves and life of a twentysomething year old

Finding Mr Perfect

2008-08-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

I have been obsessed with trying to find Mr Perfect, that I actually forgot that it is okay for them to find you and that patience is of course a virtue as its always been said. It seems the more you look for something the less likely it is to find it. Its like finding the perfect dress, the more you search the more irritated you become and the less likely it becomes to run into this perfect dress. If you luckily encounter this dress, someone has already snatched it before you or the size of the dress is too big or too small for you. Just like finding the perfect dress, we are looking for the perfect man that will fulfill our needs that others have failed in so many levels.

But I hear you say, is there any man who can really come close to perfection? Well of course, no one is Mr or Mrs.Perfect, but we are entitled to have high expectations aren't we? Some of the expectations that us women have might be a bit high, but what is the point of settling for Goliath when you can have David himself.

Us women tend to become tired of finding Mr perfect. Most of us actually believe he doesn't exist. Not I though, even though I was never a fan of Disney movies, I still believe that my prince is out there waiting to make me his princess and ride away into the sunset happily ever after, cliche yes but we can all dream right. I know that you may be sickened by my unrealistic expectations of love, but I'm a true romantic. I do believe that these expectations are more than just fairy tales. Or maybe I just have to keep the belief strong for it to become a reality.

Elle
Writer and Editor

16 At War!

2008-06-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

Do you remember your school years?? Don't you think as young girls we spent our time trying to conform to what was regarded as cool by certain individuals around us. No matter how hard you tried not to conform to what was considered as "cool", you were always pulled back in, through one way or another.

Once we reached puberty, it reached a time where you couldn’t wear anything without a guy hollering at you. They could have been 16 or 60 but we heard the same thing. If you tried to ignore these chants from your so called "fellow brothers", then rumors would ensue just because you couldn't give them a minute of your time. You felt if your clothes weren't that tight then those boys would not have liked you. Of course now that we are a little older we have become a lot wiser, it is now our chance to teach young girls that it is okay to be who you are and conforming to what others want you to be is not the way forward. Just because he smokes or she smokes doesn't mean you have to smoke too.

At such a young age like 16, you shouldn't have to feel like you need to be or act a certain way to be accepted by your peers. At 16 you already have the pressures of school, family and then the pressures of life itself. Sex is also a major issue at this age; you're just starting to really know your body and what it can do. However, mentally, no matter how grown you think you are, you’re still unaware about the consequences of sex. It seems as if everywhere you turned; there was always a boy trying to take your virginity. But what we have to tell these young women is that, they are not anyone’s transaction and it’s up to them to decide when they want to give this precious jewel away. At 16 we were at war with ourselves and everything around us. Therefore, in our twenties it is up to us to protect the young women being pushed to be 25.

Elle
Writer and Editor

Childish "Men"!

2008-06-05T00:38:00.000-07:00

It’s a sure fact that the average man thinks about sex five times more than the average woman. A man might think about it 24/7 whilst a woman might talk about a bit more often that a man. When discussing the topic of sex, men tend to refer to it in a much more vulgar way, "I banged her last night" "I was killing her last night". When we were really thinking, "Umm you weren’t killing anyone darling other than yourself". I am not saying that when discussing sex with your male counterparts you need to keep it rosy by saying "we were making love". However, plain and simple having sex will do. At least you’re not making her sound as if she was the lead girl in a porn movie.

However, us women tend to use the much more intimate word of making love or having sex. For a woman the sex element is less important than the feelings that we felt whilst performing this act. The way he looked into our eyes would be much more important than the actual act itself. So what I’m saying to you men is that you need to tone down the use of tools in your lingo, we already know what they can do.

Another thing that really erks me about men, is the way they tend to shudder each time you mention the P word. Yes you got it right, PERIOD. We are going to have it for most of our lives so it’s about time you got used to the fact that five days out of the month we will be out-of-bounds. So please do not try to humor us and yourselves by telling us that this must mean 30 minutes of unlimited foreplay on you (we think not). We don’t want you breathing or even being near us during this time. Unless you came equipped with a galaxy chocolate bar, if not then we suggest you take up a hobby for the next five or so days.

Also sometimes we are just not in the mood for sex, please don’t huff and puff at us like a 3 year old missing he's favorite toy. Don’t start humping us with the assumption that we will give into your demands. If I say I don’t want it, I mean those exact words. You prodding me with your tools will not be arousing in anyway.

In time your member will be back to doing what it does best, I'm sure it needs a rest once in a while too.

Elle
Writer and Editor

When to and not to say I love you!

2008-05-23T01:34:00.000-07:00

Sure, it's hard to hold back when the L bomb wants to escape your lips, but the object of your affection is more likely to be receptive...

When You're Sober
Booze may make you brave, but your passion proclamation loses something if your guy has to ask himself "Was that the vodka talking?"

Out of the Sack
During a hot roll in the hay, it's easy to get caught up in the moment and say (or yell) "I. Love. You!" But your guy wants to know you're equally as hooked once the postorgasm fog lifts.

Face-to-Face
Over the phone, via e-mail, or by text message are all really bad ways to profess your love to someone for the first time. One, it's a cop-out. If you feel that strongly, look him in the eye and say so. Two, regardless of how many emoticons you throw in an e-mail or text, the message often gets misconstrued. Before He Says It
If you're feeling the love itch, chances are he is as well but is too chicken to be the initiator.

Quotes from www.cosmopolitan.com

Elle
Writer and Editor

Live and let go!

2008-05-09T04:35:00.000-07:00

We all know it is hard to let go of someone, but sometimes just keeping them your Ex can be the hardest thing to do. We are caught up in our emotions and feelings, so we sometimes consider taking them back. We might ran into them and discover that they looked even better than the last time you might have seen them. The Ex might start to make you feel the way you used to when you first met. But what we have to remember that they are only acting like this because they might want you back. However, once they have you its back to their old self again.

We fail to realise the reasons that we broke up with them in the first place. I hate do admit it but Ive done the same thing before. Its the loneliness within you that drives you to do such a crazy thing or have such a crazy thought of rekindling past loves. It's not like we cant live without them, its just the need to have someone there is stronger than the realisation of knowing that you can do so much better. But how do you easily let go of someone that you might have been in love with? Its easier said than done but first you have to break all types communication with them. Even when you delete their number, its unacceptable to ring your phone company to retrieve their number that you have just deleted. You probably wont even use the number once you get it back, you just see it as some kind of security in being able to see their number rather than using it. There is no reason for you to have that number unless you have a child together. Dont try to find an excuse to have it if this doesn't apply to you.

If your finding it hard to get over them, join a dating agency. There are a lot of potential men out there that need to be tamed. You just have to look in the right places.

Elle,
Writer and Editor

STATEMENT SHOES done best by New Look

2008-05-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

Striking shoes were seen all over the catwalk this year. For sexy towering heels look no further than high street label New Look. These peep toe patent shoes will keep you in fashion even when the season changes.

They come in 3 different shades, black, gold and white. So there is a colour that suites all different taste buds.

£20.00 from New Look.
http://www.newlook.co.uk/1418409/141840901/ProductDetails.aspx

Fantasies Fulfilled.

2008-05-01T02:31:00.000-07:00

We all have fantasies; they might vary from being incredibly wild or sensually subtle. Whatever fantasies we choose to have they need to be fulfilled before we reach the age where these fantasies are hard to achieve. The thought of me wearing a sexy maid’s outfit in my 40's just doesn't sit well with my stomach. I don’t want to make anyone puke let alone my husband (fingers crossed i'll be married by then).

When it comes to fulfilling these fantasies you need to let your partner know exactly what you want so that he/she might be able to make it happen. It's kind of scary for your man to walk in your bedroom or he's and there you are tied to a bedpost blind folded and him wondering who the hell tied you to the bed in the first place. However, surprises can also be good. But its better to discuss these things before the fantasies can be fulfilled. If you are shy about confessing your fantasies to your man, why not write down little notes and leave them somewhere he might be able to notice in an instance. I.e he's laptop or he's PS2. That is the only way he might notice your little notes unless he is so engrossed in he's boys toys then I suggest you tell him or show him.

Being extremely vocal always plays a big part in achieving your fantasies, try telling him what you would like to do to him first. The anticipation of actually getting down to business will drive him wild. Fantasies are there to be fulfilled so if you have a few under your sleeve there is no point of keeping them up there. Try out a little indulging, it will only make your sex life much more enjoyable and your man/woman will appreciate you sharing these fantasies with them.

Elle
Writer and Editor

New meat or old meat??

2008-04-22T08:53:00.000-07:00

My friends and I were discussing if it’s best to stay or go back to what you know or just to move on and find new meat that will treat you better. I have to say that sometimes we become content in what we have even if they are not treating us right. Old meat seems to know us inside and out, so finding a new "link or "boyfriend" just seems like a long drawn out process that requires patience from both parties. Sometimes this is why some people go back to their exes, its not because they may still be in love with them. It is because they are used to things that they used to do well, whether it be sex (which 9 times out of 10 is what it is) or just the feeling of having a companion without the title itself (this rarely happens by the way, exes can never just be friends). Yes that's right. Don’t kid yourself that you can be just friends with an ex, there is always a hidden agenda behind that friendship.

However, obtaining new meat can do us some good when we've been hungry for so long. There's something about getting to know someone that I totally enjoy. They seem to crave for you so much more, they are eager to know everything about you and so are you. It's the butterfly sensation you feel in your stomach each time they call you or when you see them. They always seem to find ways to make you want then even more.

Personally, I think I would prefer new meat rather than old meat. For those who don’t know what I mean by meat. Meat = Men! Sorry guys but that's just how it is now.Let me know what you would prefer.

Elle, Writer and Editor

Twenties and Single!

2008-04-18T04:28:00.000-07:00

I think I’m finally ready for a serious relationship. What made me come to this conclusion you might ask? Maybe it might be the 101 couples I see everyday, holding hands, kissing and just being painstakingly in love. Sometimes I wish these people could get a room. Hmm, I think this is a sign of jealousy on my part because I crave this type of male attention. But not just from anyone but from someone I am actually dating.

Take yesterday afternoon, I was invited to a baby shower/lunch at a restaurant in the city with some colleagues. As I was enjoying my tasteful meatball sandwich my colleague and I were invited to watch a 20 minute show of frolicking, tie fixing and thigh caressing from a young couple seated directly in front of us. Someone's jealous you might say? Damn right I was. I was bloody pissed off that the girl wasn't me. Instead of appreciating young love, my colleague and I decided to start a half an hour marathon session of full throttle male bashing. Out of the 12 women at the baby shower/lunch, we were the only 2 singletons in attendant. The rest were either married or in a loving relationship.

If I'm spending most of my time male bashing with my singletons then when will this man fall into my lap I ask myself? Well I have to stop being so negative about men. I have a problem with judging guys in the 1st instance that I meet them. I don’t search for the positives always negatives. My motto from this day forward is to stop criticizing and making judgments upon men that I meet. I might have already scared THE ONE anyway........!

I very much doubt that though!

Until next time....

Elle, Writer and Editor

Infidelity hurts!!!!!

2008-04-11T01:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been cheated on? You know it hurts right. Sometimes I wonder why people actually cheat. If you feel that you don’t want to be committed then why enter a relationship where you are expected to be just this "committed". People who cheat are wasting the other person’s time and as well as their own trying to make something work that they clearly don’t want to be in. You spend hours trying to plan your next lie instead of just letting your partner know that you aren’t interested in them anymore. I see people that cheat as simply being greedy, they don’t want to let go of the person they are cheating on yet they are happy to sleep with 3 or 4 different people.

When they are caught red handed they act like they are the sorriest people in the world. The most common explanation is that "it just happened". Nothing just happens it is a well thought out plan that was executed in a manner that intended to hurt the other person.

However, we cannot just blame the cheater we have to take into account the person they are cheating on you with. These people are at times aware that the person is taken and they still wish to partake in helping them deceive the other person. For them they see that the person isn’t cheating on them so why should it be their problem. But it kind of is your problem too, you are telling this person that it is okay to cheat on their partner. If he/she ever leaves their partner for you, it is a sure fact that they will cheat on you too. Don’t be gullible if they say tell you that they have changed, because they probably used the same lines on their previous partner.

Despite the emotional ramifications that occur when you find out that your partner has been unfaithful there is also the physical pain that you endure. They may have infected you with a sexual disease that might be difficult to cure. But when partners are cheating without protection, 9 times out of 10 the last thing on their mind is infecting someone. Achieving their goal is the main aim, not catching a disease.

If you think that your partner is cheating on you, it is best to confront them now. The more you leave it, the harder it will be for you to leave that relationship. You start to assume that you can’t find someone to love the way you loved this person. But please wake up and smell the coffee, they didn't love you or even respect you. There are a number of single people out there waiting to be fished. You was fine before you met him and I'm sure you will be even better without him.

However, if you are the cheater then I advise you to think carefully about what you are doing. If you don’t want to be in a relationship then leave. Stop living a lie and pretending that you are the caring and loving partner. If you want various partners then let your mate know. There is no point in making your life or their life harder than it already is once they find out about your infidelity.

Elle, Writer and Editor

Spring at Miss Selfridges

2008-04-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

This spring look like a supermodel in this figure hugging leopard cowl dress or if you dont do dresses, check out the same thing but in the form of a bow boob tube.

Pay day is round the corner soon, so this will be part of my wardrobe soon. All I need is an event to wear it too. :)

Check out http://www.missselfridge.com/ for a sneak peak.

Scared of.....

2008-04-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

Okay so where do I start with this; this is a hard topic for me because it’s something I’ve been trying to keep in the back of my mind for a long time.

.......Have you ever liked someone so much that your stomach hurt just thinking about them? I am not talking about the butterflies that you get when you have a crush on someone. I’m talking about feeling as if you are on cloud 9 every time you see their face or hear their name. If the answer to that is yes then you might be falling in love or you are in love.

But how do you utter these four letter words that are meant to be the most beautiful and meaningful words that will ever leave your mouth, without feeling as if you just have to crawl under a hole and die if those words aren’t reciprocated. Well I don’t have an answer to that question if that's what your wondering.

I think most people are scared to be the first to say this four letter word. We are scared of the reply of a simple "thank you" like we have just paid them a compliment. For me it’s the scary thought that he might just think that I’ve completely lost it and have become too attached. I have this major fear of rejection; I need to know that the person I’m in love with feels the same as me. I have come close to saying this four letter word in several occasions but that fear instilled in me has kept me on the hush. I will probably stay mute until they say it first. However, we forget that men are scared to say this four letter word too.

If you think that you are ready to say these words then you should just go for it. But who I'm I to tell you this. I think time will tell just how confident I will be to share these feelings with that special someone. It might be sooner than I know or maybe it could be in a couple of years, I don’t think I’m ready to loose my dignity just yet if I don’t hear back the words that I yearn to hear.

But for now that four letter word will keep on haunting me until I can say it or as you might have noticed even to write it.

But until then.......

Elle, Writer and Editor

Finding that special someone......

2008-04-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere that the reason that there are so many single people out there is because we are scared to grow up or that we assume that the relationship will f*** up in some way. So we say to ourselves "what's the point of actually getting into a relationship". However, having this sort of mentality will be a recipe for disaster before you even get into that relationship. I sometimes think that people are much more scared of a relationship working out than it actually failing.

Taking time to know someone is key, it’s better to know their bad points as well as the good in the beginning. It’s not advisable to concentrate on all the good points and then you act surprised to learn that there is something about them that you don’t like. You not liking your partner's fashion sense is not a valid reason to finish off a relationship. Everyone has flaws, we don’t all look like Beyonce or TI. The imperfections that we have are what make us who we are. We all know that the concept of perfection does not exist in this world. Even the person that you consider as being the most beautiful person in the world has their own flaws. Stop looking for the bad points and if you do come across them, learn to love these bad points.

There is a man/woman out there for all of us who will be willing to worship the ground we walk on, and we will most likely do the same for them. They will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. People always say how their partner "is treating them so well". Well guess what, that is what they're meant to be doing right. It shouldn't be a Monday to Wednesday thing then the rest of the week you feel unloved and unwanted.

If you want a relationship to work you have to work at it. It won’t come easy and that is what a lot of people forget. Anything worth having needs time and investment in order for it to be successful. If you feel that it might take you a long time to find yourself that special someone then do not settle for anything less, work at it till that someone becomes yours.

A very clever person once said "we all have strengths and weaknesses, so its about finding a person who fills in your gaps and you fill there's, creating a full circle". Take time and find that special someone who's built for you, if it means staying single for years then so be it. In the long run you will find that person who was destined just for you.

Quotes and opinions from this blog can be found in Kojo's blog.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10860954997&id=717130053&ref=share

Elle, Writer and Editor

F*** Buddies....do you really need one?

2008-04-03T02:02:00.000-07:00

There comes a point in a woman’s life when a buddy is required to fulfill different types of needs. These needs might be of companionship for those lonely nights. As 21st century women we are trying to juggle work, family and friends, whilst also trying to have a decent social life. So sometimes a full time boyfriend doesn’t fit into our hectic lives, this is why we opt for the simple answer of obtaining a F*** buddy to fulfill the desires that have been locked up. However, there are some rules that you have to stick to before finding yourself one of these.

Firstly, try to find one that you are sure has no intense feelings towards you because this means the guy’s interior motives will be to make you he's girl. Even though you know that is not what you have in mind at that particular moment. The same goes for you, do not try to turn a F*** buddy into your future boyfriend. Before you entered and signed the contract you both knew full well what you were getting yourself into, so bringing emotions into this legally binding contract might not be suitable for both candidates. We all know that us females are emotional beings, so before entering this contract be sure to know that you don’t want anything more than what has been agreed upon.

Secondly, if you ran into your buddy in public with another female, do not in any way ask him who the girl is. He will start to sense some kind of jealousy or even worse that you are forming some kind of attachment to him. Furthermore, do not assume that you are the only person that he's sleeping with. You could be one of many, so don’t be surprised if this happens to slip out.

Thirdly, a f*** buddy does exactly what it say's on the tin. So don’t expect anything more or less from him. He is not there to facilitate as a boyfriend. He will not take you out and buy you lovely things. If he also forgets your birthday that’s okay its not he's job to remember.

If you feel that you can adhere to these rules then by all means go and get yourself a buddy. But if you are looking for sustainability and durability then I advise you wait for that special someone. Do not enter into a contract that you cannot fulfill, remember this is a contract that you cannot amend unless both parties agree upon these new changes.

Elle, Writer and Editor

shoes, shoes and um more shoes

2008-04-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

Anyone who loves shoes knows that these high shoe boots are a must have.

Check these out designed by Click from Faith......they are a must have for any wardrobe!!!!!

Elle, Writer and Editor

Dating 21st century style........

2008-04-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

I had been out of the dating scene for a while, when I decided to take up an offer for a cinema date with a guy I used to know in my college years. Whilst at university we had ultimately lost contact. I ran into him again at a club a while back, we exchanged numbers or should I say (he asked for mine and I told him its better I had his). This is because I wanted to call him on my own terms not his.

After a few weeks I sent him a courteous text message with a simple hello. After a couple of weeks of talking on the phone we arranged a cinema date. I was very apprehensive about the whole thing because me and this guy had a past and was it really a good idea to try and re-light a flame that had lost its fire a long time ago. What the hell....I decided to give it one more try.
We met at the 02 cinema in Greenwich; he looked as good as he had when I saw him at the club. I thought my one too many JD and coke might have impaired my vision but it seems it hadn't. The downfall that he only had was he's height. Being 5'2 its not that hard for someone to be taller than me, but I do like my men over 5'6 and he was still the miniature 5'4 that I had left him 4 years ago. Nevertheless, height didn't affect my intentions of getting to know him again.

We continued on into the cinema where we qued to pay for the tickets. Even though I'm a 21st century woman I still believe that men should pay on 1st dates. I would offer but I think that these men should decline to the offer handed to them as quickly as possible. Anyway, whilst at this que he saw that the que for the food isle was just as long. So to cut quing time for both of us he told me I should proceed to que for refreshments. Oh yeh and he didn’t forget to tell me to get him a hotdog and that also he preferred sweet popcorn rather than salted.....Okay so he didn’t even have the nerve to ask me if sweet was fine with me, if he had asked he would have found out that it was in-fact the latter.

From this moment on I thought that this guy was in-fact cheap or he just didn't know the fundamental rules whilst on a 1st date. Because I'm not one to tell him about these fundamental rules I decided to pay for our snacks.

Halfway through the film I decided to have a sip of the LARGE drink that I had bought. To my surprise I was left sucking on a couple of ice -cubes. I know that sometimes people get thirsty but this was a shared drink for two. He could have had the courtesy to think of my thirst before he proceeded in finishing off the LARGE drink.

"ummm I hope you're going to get another one" I asked, "oh sorry, I was thirsty I’ll go get another one" he answered. He came back holding a small drink and another hotdog which of course was for him. He handed me the drink and then grabbed the sweet popcorn that was on my lap and placed it on he's. Throughout the entire film he didn’t offer me the popcorn, I was on my P's&Q's the whole night just to get a handful of the popcorn that I had bought.

I was relieved when I saw the credits appear on the screen. This date had officially come to an end, its not that this was a nightmare date to say the least. It was a date where I didn’t feel like I was treated like the lady that I am. If it was just another date then I would no doubt help to pay for the date. However, considering that it was our 1st date I was very surprised to be asked to pay. So the next time I go on another date, I will not make the mistake of assuming that all men like to pick up the bill.

Until next time.......

Elle, Writer and Editor